Friday, February 27, 2004

Moral of the Story
If you order a pizza delivered from a place that sells cans of pop, don't open the can right away. I went out to my car a while ago and this guy was carrying a pizza with a can of pop on top and peering at house numbers. I asked him which address was he looking for and he was kinda belligerent and said never mind and walked back across the street. Part way, the can fell off the pizza onto the street and he KICKED it up past the curb into the yard on the corner. I got in my car, but I was watching him curiously. He picked up the can, put it back on top of the pizza box and stomped into the apartment building across the street. So like I said, don't open the can right away, or at least hand it to someone you don't like...
~the Procrastinatrix got around to it @ 7:28:00 PM~#~~

Yep, that's me. Dorkasaurus. And I'll tell you why. K, you know I'm a P*rofessional P*et S*itter/D*og W*alker, right? LP is a dog I pick up every morning and keep all day, dropping her off last thing in the afternoon. I got to her house this morning and she wasn't home. (Sometimes when her mom runs to McDonald's for a Diet Coke, she takes LP along for the ride.) So I called her mom on her cell phone and she said she'd be home in ten minutes. I said, that was totally fine, but I had a cat visit to do just down the street, so I'd go do that, then come back and pick LP up. Good, she said, and I drove off, intending to come back to pick LP up. I drive directly to the cat's house, crack my window about an inch, get out of the car saying to LP (like I do every single time I leave her in the car) "I'll be right back. Be a good girl, LP.", close the door and as I'm walking away lock the car doors via the handy dandy little remote dealy I have. I go in, do the normal cat visit (food, water, litter, love 'em up a bit) and walk out. Walking back to the car I notice LP isn't sitting in the driver's seat, as she usually is, waiting for me. "That's weird.", I think and start hurrying toward the car. Looking in the windows, she is no where to be seen. I started freaking out, wondering how the hell did she get out? I only cracked the window and inch and I LOCKED the car. OMIGOD where is she. I'm really starting to panic, when it hits me... D'oh!! I never picked her up.

Gack!! What a dope. I hope adrenaline isn't too bad for the baby, cuz I swear I had an adrenaline rush so strong, my toes and fingers were tingling. Holy shit, what a freak out!! Of course, I had to tell her mom the story when I got back over there. She just thinks I'm the biggest dope on the planet now!! I've been taking care of LP for like 8 years. She's like my own dog. Her parents are not just clients, but friends now, too.

Then to make me really question my sanity, I drove to Jamba Juice and as I was coming out of the store with my drink in one hand and car keys in the other, I put my keys up to my mouth to drink. the Rock Star wonders if I should even be out there driving. Yikes!!!

Besides, being the ultimate dork I feel great. Tired still, but very little nausea lately. Yay!!! We have a gala ball to attend tomorrow night and I'm freaking out about what to wear. And the professional organization I've been helping form is going to be at the Pet Expo tomorrow, so I'll be spending the whole day promoting my business, no time to shop. None of my old cute fancy clothes fit around my waist anymore, and the washing machine is busted so I can't wash the nice pants I bought that do fit...oh, my the stress. I'll live, I'm sure, but I can't wait for Sunday. One cat visit and plenty of laying around to do.
~the Procrastinatrix got around to it @ 2:06:00 PM~#~~

Thursday, February 26, 2004

Stupid, Stupid, Stupid
I hate stupid people. Seriously. Just can't stand them. I wonder how they survive? How do they get along in the same complex world I live in? Get along, and thrive, and BREED, for fuck sake. GAHHHHHHH!! I have spent too much of my day on the phone with stupid people. One call this morning came from someone I've been working on a board with and yesterday she had sent 2 or 3 emails with questions about could I get some things done. I emailed back to say, "Yes, I'll have those documents emailed to you by tomorrow afternoon." She got my email and replied, "Thanks." Then called this morning and basically went through the whole thing again. I could have been finishing the mother fucking documents she wanted, if she had only shut her stupid trap and let me off the goddamn phone. I swear. I watch them run around squealing, "I'm so busy. I'm so busy." Well, no fucking wonder. You spend time like it's un-fucking-limited. Why repeat everything verbally this morning on the phone, when we got it all covered yesterday in WRITING, for fuck sake. GAAAAAAHHHHH!!! I hate talking on the phone. Then she called again a bit ago after she received the documents and even though I mentioned I was busy working on some stuff, proceeded to waste a bunch more of my precious time not giving me a straight answer. I asked a question and she knew I wasn't going to like the answer she had to give and circled all around the question and not answering it. Don't waste my fucking time!!! I've never been even slightly grouchy with this person, so there is no good mother fucking reason not to just answer the question and get on with it. If that's your decision, then own it, for pete sake. Just SAY IT!!! Instead I had to diddle fuck around trying to pick the answer out of her and finally got what I needed (in addition to a massive headache I didn't fucking need.) Then as if it wasn't bad enough she launches into a whole nother topic, with plenty of embellishment (read: wasted words & thoughts that went no where) and I have to sit through all of that even though I was seething from the other stuff AND wanted to get back to what I was doing before she called and interrupted my work...GAAAAHHHHHHH!!!

Seriously. Sloppy thinking. Poor communication skills. Brains like the cluttered, musty, cobwebby attic of an old granny. I hate stupid people.
~the Procrastinatrix got around to it @ 4:35:00 PM~#~~

Wednesday, February 25, 2004

Bad Mommy
I have a warped sense of humor. I mean really warped.

One of the things I've been enjoying about our pregnancy being public is the things I can say and the looks on people's faces. For instance, have I regaled you with my thoughts on child rearing? I figure its easy once they're old enough to sit up, you can plunk 'em down in front of the tv set, then there's reform school and if you're really lucky by the time they're 18 the state penal system takes over. Piece of cake. Turns out the grammas don't appreciate the humor in discussing baby's first tatoo. Go figure. I am so putting a rub on tatoo of a dragon on the babies back and making it into our xmas cards. That shit just cracks me up!! How 'bout this t-shirt? Or this one? Ah, this is only gonna get better the bigger I get!! Mua-ha-ha-ha

Now don't get me wrong, I'll be the best little PTA mom you ever saw, but in the meantime I see no reason to pass up some of these really good opportunities at humor...heh!!
~the Procrastinatrix got around to it @ 11:55:00 AM~#~~

Spelling Champ!!
I just realized I was spelling espresso wrong on everything (this blog, people's comments, etc.). I was spelling it expresso. That's not right. It's espresso. I'm a dope!!! It seems that coffee is a prevalent theme in my online communications, so I've done it quite a few times now... How embarrassing.
~the Procrastinatrix got around to it @ 10:50:00 AM~#~~

Monday, February 23, 2004

Happiness and Joy Joy
The Doppler Fetal Heartbeat Monitor I ordered got here today. I was kind of afraid to use it. What if I couldn't find the heartbeat? I didn't want to get all freaked out and scared. If I couldn't find it, likely I was doing something wrong or the thing is a rip-off or the baby was out of range or something. I went out and got all my pet visits done, then came back and gave it a try. I picked up a heartbeat in my belly right away, but it was way too slow (84 beats/minute), so I put on the heart rate monitor that I have for running and it turned out my heart rate was 84 beats/minute. Whoops!! Baby's heartrate is s'posed to be 120-160. I tried again and it took me a minute or two, but I found it!!! I counted it and it was definitely the baby's. I listened for a long time!!! It's so cool!!! Called my husband to tell him to pick up a case of KY jelly on the way home. GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER!!!!!! Sheesh. You have to use the jelly on the monitor probe (need an airtight seal between your skin and the probe) and the little tube they sent with the monitor is only gonna last a couple more days if I listen as much as I want!!!! It's so cool!!! We gotta figure out a way to record this!

Oh, and coffee again today, and no upset tummy. YAY!!!
~the Procrastinatrix got around to it @ 5:29:00 PM~#~~

Knock on Wood!!!
I have barely felt any nausea for the last 3 days. Maybe that part's over? I'm really hoping so! I still get really tired. My days have been like this: get up, go, go, go, STOP!! I just hit a wall around 5:00 pm and after that it's like I'm asleep on my feet. Unless I actually do laydown, in which case, I'm snoring in two seconds. Last night, around 8:00 pm, my sweet dear husband made me a hamburger, which seems to be the only food in the world I'm interested in lately. Then I crashed. My spirits have been much higher for the last couple of days, but I know better than to trust that. I'm on the emotional rollercoaster, baby. Do you wanna go faster?!!?
~the Procrastinatrix got around to it @ 11:21:00 AM~#~~

Saturday, February 21, 2004

Feeling Good About:
This is the 5th day in a row I've fixed myself a nice expresso a bit of foamy half-n-half in the morning. My tummy is tolerating it well enough. Yay!!!

Went to my Local Yarn Store and found some super soft nice yarn to try something with. It's Wendy Velvet Touch and I really like it a lot. Not exactly chenille, but sort of. Very, very soft and pleasant to knit and the finished fabric is so sweet you want to eat it up. I'm picturing little baby hats, baby booties, baby mittens and maybe a blanket.

Setting aside the adventure with evil baby mags, I'm feeling quite happy and excited about the baby the last couple day. Ahhh, hormones, what a roller coaster, eh? Anyhow, I've been wanting to hear the heartbeat again, and checked around and several places on the internet sell or rent the Doppler Fetal Heartbeat Monitors. I found a place that rents them, $25/month, and ordered one. It'll get here next week sometime. I figured if it doesn't work, we'll only be out $25, and if it does I can listen to him anytime I want. I've been paying extra attention lately, cuz I should be able to feel him move anytime. Once last nite and once a few minutes ago, I thought maybe I felt him, but I couldn't tell for sure if it was a rumbly in my tumbly or the baby. Everyone says when it happens I'll know it! Can't wait.

The Little dog (Little) just tried to jump up on the bed and missed twice. It's a bit high for her since we put it up on a frame. She has to take a running jump at it, and misses about 1 out of 5 times. Then she gets all nervous and upset, but it's so cute...I'm mean for laughing at my dog when she can't do something. Hope I don't do it to the kids. heh!!
~the Procrastinatrix got around to it @ 7:57:00 PM~#~~

Baby Mags are Evil!!
I posted about hoping a baby mag would help me feel a little more excited about the baby, only to find that it made me feel inadequate and more scared than I already was. Thanks to Judi & Suz for confirming how insidious and evil these mags really are. It's the marketing. Holy crap!! The marketing. Usually I'm a pretty savvy media consumer. I believe that in this country just about everything is marketing. No matter what you're looking at (mags, tv, movies, radio (including public radio), papers, internet) someone is trying to sell you something (whether it's merchandise or ideas). I'd be alright with this idea if we educated people better on how to be savvy media consumers, but we don't. I'm not advocating any huge social changes or anything. I love America (in all it's varied, glorious and often dangerous splendor) and I like living in a capitalist economy. I'm also better suited to it (financially and educationally, etc) than many folks. I do feel bad for them and try to help where I can, but I wouldn't give up my way of life. (Of course, I think of myself as a more liberal, compassionate kind of capitalist, than what most would associate with the title, but I s'pose many would argue that point with me.) Anyhow, my point was that I'm pretty good at filtering marketing. But as I read the baby mag, every page was filled with cute this and adorable that and before I knew it, I felt like I needed it all. I think advertisers have my number when it comes to baby stuff. You feel like you want to be a good mom, and the only way you could be is to provide this item or that. How could you possibly manage your life with a baby without all of these handy dandy gadgets? Could not possibly afford to buy all that stuff...must get other people to buy it for us? Oh it just never ends...So what I'm sayin' is baby mags are evil. Lesson learned.
~the Procrastinatrix got around to it @ 7:31:00 PM~#~~

Friday, February 20, 2004

Sometimes in the Dark... can see some light and it makes you feel all warm and fuzzy!!! A couple of weeks ago a competing p*et s*itter called me out of the blue and asked if I could take do him a favor. His dad had just died and he needed to travel out of town and could I walk this one dog he does on three different days. I gave him my sympathies and said sure, no problem. I called the dogs owner and we had a nice chat and made the arrangements. The dog was a super cutie good boy and it was great to meet him. She left me a check for my services and I hoped I might get to see this cool, sweet dog again someday. The other p*et s*itter called when he got back to town to ask how it went and to thank me again and I thought that would be the end of it. Nope. He just now walked up on my porch and rang the bell and presented me with a cute thank you card and a $20 gift certificate for a restaurant that the Rock Star and I love (had our first date there). So above and beyond the amount of thanking needed. Truth be told, I was happy to do the favor and I got paid $14 per walkie and got to meet a cool dog into the bargain. I'm blown away. :)
~the Procrastinatrix got around to it @ 2:52:00 PM~#~~

Morning Sickness, My Ass!!
A dear friend of ours gave me a copy of "The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy" last week and I have been really enjoying it. The author very wisely points out that the name Morning Sickness is a crappy name for what should really be called Progesterone Poisoning. Yeah, that's right. Poisoning. I hate to harp on a subject I've covered ad nauseum (pardon the pun) in recent blog entries, but shit man, this is all I think about. I feel crappy. I'm nauseous and tired all the time, hormonal and depressed. It's been several weeks since I've been excited about my pregnancy. I'm also worried that I'll jinx it by being so miserable (I know that's just superstitious, but these hormones make even the wildest nightmares seem possible). I fully realize that my pregnancy is going easier than many women's (those poor souls who puke the entire first 3 months), and maybe I shouldn't complain so much. But Fuck It. I can feel sorry them and myself all at the same time. I went out and bought a baby magazine, hoping that pictures of cute little round headed babys would jumpstart my excitement about my own baby...but in addition to all the cute babys were articles about handling pregnancy, labor and the first weeks of babys life, and of course all the women in the articles are perfect gestators and breast-feeders and mothers and I'm sitting here thinking, "Holy fucking shit! I can't do all that stuff." I know I can, but I feel like I can't, if you know what I mean. and right now the feelings are just out of fucking control. I've always been in control, now I'm out of control and it's driving me nuts (it wasn't a long ride according to some people. heh!). So that's my deal right now. Oh, and it's fucking invoice time again. Someone, please, shoot me?
~the Procrastinatrix got around to it @ 1:47:00 PM~#~~

Thursday, February 19, 2004

Holy Crapinoli!
I just lost $630. I board dogs as part of my p*et s*itting business and was all set for two Golden Retrievers (who've stayed with us a million times and are wonderful guest doggies)to stay for 14 days. I charge their dad $45/nite. One of them developed pneumonia after some dental work, and their dad cancelled his trip to Hawaii. She was gonna stay at the vet a couple days til they thought it was ok to come home, then I'd have picked her up. I was totally sure it was gonna be ok, but he just felt awful about leaving her. I don't blame him. I'd have felt the same way. And frankly, those are the pet owners I love the best. Willing to sacrifice for their beloved dogs the way people will for their children. I sure am gonna miss all those pretty dollars, beefing up my bottom line... oh, well. Easy come, easy go, I guess.
~the Procrastinatrix got around to it @ 6:34:00 PM~#~~

Tuesday, February 17, 2004

Damn It!!!
The Big Dog (Big) is such a wuss and the Little Dog (Little) pushes her away from her food bowl and eats it all. Little is only sposed to have 1 cup of food a day and Big gets 4 cups soaked in water. When Little eats all that I'll end up cleaning puck up for 2 days. So for the second time in 7 days, Little has eaten so much her tummy is distended and Big is still hungry...grrrrrrrr.
~the Procrastinatrix got around to it @ 11:32:00 AM~#~~

Plans For the Day
The tired (fatigued, exhausted, used-up, worn out, could sleep all day, nappy poo is my friend) feeling has made it difficult to get as much done as I would like. Hopefully that will start to abate in a few weeks, but I'm not counting on nothin'. My must get done list this week is long and I'm trying out a plan. I'll plan on napping from 2:30 to 5:00 pm every day and make myself get as much done on the to-do list as I can before then. Yesterday it worked rather well. I got most of the stuff I needed to done for the professional association I'm working on, then took a nap. I went to my knitting group last night and didn't feel completely wiped out afterwards, so the nap helped a lot.

I told my best clients about the baby yesterday. I'm scared about how clients and employees are going to react. I know they'll be happy for us, of course, but then start worrying about how it will affect them. The truth is I can't say for sure how things will go after I have the baby. Right now I plan on taking 2 or 3 months off completely, then trying to go back to my normal walkies and work schedule, with the help of free baby sitting by the Grammas. I also know, that things just may not work out that way. But employees and clients like to hear concrete plans, not "probly this, probly that". I know I have very little control over their concerns or fears, and that I have to tell them, cuz the baby is definitely coming... The worst thing that could happen is that people start trying to be over protective of me and make judgments about whether I should be walking their dog at 7 months pregnant and decide to find another pet sitter. Already people (the Grammas & some others) have started saying "Be careful." everytime I get out of my chair or walk up and down some step. It's cute that they're worried about me (or should I say the baby), but it's annoying as all hell to have my ability to walk down the front steps questioned. I'm very independent, always have been and always will be. I've always been careful walking up and down the steps, but no one ever noticed before apparently. Now I'm the gestation machine carrying the precious cargo and everyone is worried I'll start running with scissors or something. OK, I'm exaggerating a bit, but you know what I mean. I assume it'll only get worse the bigger I get. So I don't want to lose valued clients, because they think I shouldn't be taking a walk with their dog this summer. I guess we'll see how it works out, won't we?
~the Procrastinatrix got around to it @ 10:33:00 AM~#~~

mmmmmm, Coffee
A few weeks ago I wrote about not being able to drink coffee anymore because it upset my tummy. I still need a bit of a caffeine hit every morning, though and a Diet Vanilla Coke was doing the job for me nicely. That and a sleeve of saltines would get me through the morning pretty well. So it was a bit unsettling to read yesterday in one of my pregnancy books, that Nutrasweet is really not advised for pregnant women. Not a lot is known about it being bad, but the books say err on the side of caution and don't have too much of it. So I had no caffeine yesterday and it was a rough day!!! Don't get me wrong. I got the stuff done I wanted, but I was feeling even more tired than usual. I realize if I err on the side of caution for every single thing the books tell me, I can only eat soy protein and water for the next 7 months, but for whatever reason the nutrasweet thing spooked me. So this morning I decided to make myself an expresso and see how it sat. I just finished it and oh, man, was it good. I lurve me some coffee, lemme tell ya'!!!! I'm following it with 16 oz of water and some saltines, so maybe it'll be ok. Wish me luck.

~the Procrastinatrix got around to it @ 10:09:00 AM~#~~

Monday, February 16, 2004

On a Mission
Haven't posted in almost a week. Sorry 'bout dat. We had a really busy week of telling all the family and friends about the the baby. I'd like to write more about that later. It was lots of fun!!

Today, I am trying really hard to get lots done!! I did a bunch of work for the professional Association we've formed, and now I'd like to tackle some invoices. and my pillow. But I prolly won't get to do that! Knitting group tonite and I still haven't found a project I want to work on. I'm so bummed.
~the Procrastinatrix got around to it @ 3:07:00 PM~#~~

Tuesday, February 10, 2004

Holy Crappin' Shit Hell Fuck
If you don't know me, that sounds like cursing. It sounds like I might be totally pissed off about something...but if you'd ever seen me say it you'd know: I only say it about the most amazing (good) things, so you'll believe me when I say this (thing I'm about to tell you) is the most amazing thing. Ready? Here goes...

We heard our baby's heart beat today. Holy crappin' shit hell fuck. We heard our baby's heart beat today. I am amazed. I am elated. I am a bunch of other things I can't put into words. I am with child.

Do you have an average sized thumb? Something like two, two and a half inches long? If no, look around you for something that size. If yes, look at your thumb. That is the size our baby is now. He has arms & legs. Elbows and knees. Fingers and toes. Ears. A beating heart. Holy crappin' shit hell fuck. I don't know what else to say...
~the Procrastinatrix got around to it @ 9:02:00 PM~#~~

I'm Back!!!
Woot!!! I'm back from San Francisco!! Anybody miss me?

If I sound excited to be home...I'm not!!! The only reason I returned to Minnesota is because my dogs were here. We heard about the snow dump while we were on vacation, but it was still shocking to see it all when we got home. Sunday was spent (by my husband) clearing it all away from the sidewalks, driveways and cars. Yuck!!

The trip was really, really fun!!! I love the little Mexican joint up the way from the BIL's. It's Mexican food made by Mexicans for Mexicans. Cheap and de-eeeeee-licous!!! And we were introduced to the yumminess that is the Lamb Shawarma. Middle eastern wrap thingy. Layers of lamb are put on those spits (you know, the ones they also use for gyros mystery meat) and roasted. Then sliced off and grilled with veggies, wrapped in a big piece of flat bread with some slightly spicy sauce and mmm-mmm-good!!!! We went to a place called Edinburgh Castle, a Scottish pub, to have fish and chips the likes of which we haven't seen since our honeymoon in Scotland a couple years ago. It comes wrapped in the paper and everything. Malt vinegar and salt on the chips and soaked into the batter fried fish. The big finale of course was the Dim Sum on Friday. The place we go is pretty expensive and fancy, but it's always good and lots (I mean lots) of dishes. The servers are always right there to drop off more delectable tasty bits!!!! I love Dim Sum. Like I'd marry it kind of love. I get rapturous thinking about it. Oh it was soooooo good. As of today it looks like I only gained 2 pounds on this trip.

We have our second Prenatal Visit today. The midwives said we can hear our baby's heart beat today. I am beside myself with excitement!!!! I wish we could record it. We're 11 weeks this week, and I'm getting really dang sick of keeping the secret from everyone. We've told my sister and a couple of friends. On this trip we told the Rock Star's brother and GF and Cousin and GF. It's hard to talk to anyone who doesn't know yet, cuz its really the only thing on my mind and all conversations seem to lead back to it. and then I have to shut up. Shutting up is not one of my strong suits. Go figure. Anyhow, I'll be glad in a few weeks when we've told most of the family, but we think we'll wait till after the Amniocentesis at 16-18 weeks to tell everyone else. That's at least 5 more weeks of shutting up. If someone keeps stuffing Dim Sum in my mouth I might make it.
~the Procrastinatrix got around to it @ 1:01:00 PM~#~~

Inspired Procrastination